MARRIAGE.OS — Active Conditionals

// ACTIVE CONDITIONALS
13 rules currently compiled // last modified: today
          IF
          partner_b.says("i'm fine")
          AND
          tone.flat()
        
          THEN
          deploy(flowers)
          AND
          cancel(plans)
        
          IF
          argument.active == true
        
          partner_b.correct = true
          // read-only. cannot be modified.
        
          IF
          snoring.detected()
        
          THEN
          relocate(couch)
          // temporary. allegedly.
        
          IF
          blanket.stolen == true
        
          execute(stealth_shiver)
          AND
          do_not(wake_partner)
        
          IF
          partner_a.asks("does this look ok?")
        
          halt_all_processes()
          AND
          return(instant_compliment)
        
          // do not process actual visual data
        
          IF
          dishes.count > 3
        
          THEN
          passive_aggression.enable()
        
          WHILE
          in_laws.visiting == true
        
          suppress(opinion)
          EVERY
          4_hours
        
          IF
          anniversary.forgotten == true
        
          THROW
          critical_error("how could you")
        
          recovery_time = 3_days
        
          IF
          leftovers.age > 7_days
        
          partner_a.claims("it's fine, i'll eat it")
        
          // high risk of stomach_bug.exe
        
          IF
          thermostat.touched_by(partner_a)
        
          THEN
          war()
        
          TRY
          romance()
          CATCH
          (exhaustion) { reschedule(saturday) }
        
          EVERY
          365_days RUN remember_why()
        
          IF
          silence.duration > 10_min
          AND
          drive.length > 1_hour
        
          RETURN
          comfortable
          // not every silence is a bug